Numero Dos!
Grandma had many obsessions, such as Bob Barker and the barefoot contessa on the food network,but by far her most annoyying obsession was everything anime in her room. She made me leave work twice so i could go pick up a dragon ball z limited addition stuffed animal, and another time to get zuko's autograph since she believes he's real. In the end i ended up forging it she couldn't tell the difference. I let Snooki her favorite cat write it.Grandma was blind anyways.
Lately I've been watching reruns of That 70's show and everytime I see hyde I think of her and that afro of hers. I swear they are alsmot identical.t.Then i remember that she forbid me to ever watch that show since it was the "devils work" and i turned it off, but then relized again she was blind and I turned on the mute and watched it anyways.
Grandma was a a tough woman, a real fighter in her younger days. One night after Grandmother Bertha finished her shift at Hooters she took her usual route home on her Blazer 500 razer scooter.Mike Tyson (obviously angry at her sucess) pushed her off of her scooter and posted it on youtube. Grammy Bertha in a rage tore off his left testicle and fed it to a dog walking by. Thats howh the idea of Tyson chicken nuggets.
Grandma Bertha was a real looker with her rippling biceps,sweaty gluteus maximus,and toned thighs that could crush an apple. Grandma always carried several bricks in her purse always afraid of being kidnapped. Even at the age of 82 she liked to wear her tight leather snake skin mini and blue sequin halter. Being blind she was never good at puting together outfits that matched, but she always did love the feel of polyester ag inst her sweaty skin.
One morning when I went into Grammys room to fill her pillow with sawdust, I noticed that all over the walls were little stickers. After close examination I came to relize that Grammy posted little Pokemon stickers all over her walls and smeared them with grape Jelly. When I asked her why she did this she simply responded with the answer she always did. "It reminds me of granda Cleadus, No go pick up your dirty underwear off of the kitchen floor"! And i responded with, "Grams, those are your depends. You got dressed in front of the kitchen window today. Oh and Timmy the little boy who always digs holes in our yard is in the hospital because of a heart attack".
In Grammys last few years she demanded every day to be given a sponge bath even though she was able to use her hands and legs perfectly fine. She instructed me to fill up the bathtub with 7 cups of water, a cup of oatmeal, and 12 red rose petals. She said she was afraid of drowning so if she accidently stood up, slipped on the soap, and hit her head, if she passed out, she woukdnt drown. So I asked how would she drowned if I was in there, and if there was only 7 cups why did I have to be in there in the first place. It reminds me of grandpa she said again.
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