Chapter one in the life of Sheeya Nibbles

Numero Uno!
The night that I fell in love with him was the night my grandmother died of lung cancer. For a mere moment I thought I died of lung cancer too because he took my breath away.
I instantly wanted to invite him over to watch gilmore girls but then i remembered the last time i invited a man over. The worst night of my life.I farted so loud the couch shook and he wouldnt look at me for the rest of the night, and when he left instead of a sweet kiss goodnight he punched my shoulder and said, 'bros for life.That was the night that I met Harry.
I was taking a walk through an abandoned alley hopeing to get bitten by a vampire and came a cross a balding man in a jumpsuit and a cape. I knew right away that he was the kind of man my grandmother would hate so I gave him 20 bucks and told him to follow me. We made sweet sweet love on the rug grandmother hand wove for 13 years. After a few drinks and a tapioca pudding we lye there in a heap and like a real man, he solied himself.
Before grandmother Bertha died she left me with her 8 cats that she named after the Jersey shore cast. Her favorite show of all time. Every night Pauly D and Mike would get out of the house and hump the garden knomes and Angelina would dig through the trash. Sammy pretty much slept all day and Ronnie plotted grandmothers death.
When Grandmother finally croaked on that fateful night the police came over for a little visit. I was terrified because I was almost positive I was the cause of death. Grandmother Bertha was allergic to cinamon. So  on the counter I  left her a little something every morning and sometimes sprinkled cinamon under nose while she slept when i got bored. On April Fools day I filled her toothpaste with cinnamon sprinkles. After the investigation we soon found out that Pauly D thought of her as a "grenade" and needed the extra bed so he suffocated her with his large body.